Believe

Hey! It's been so long since my last personal post. Well, it's mainly because my world these days keeps on freaking me out. I'm not feeling like myself for quite some time now, I don't know what has gotten to me but i'm suddenly feeling weird. Questions like (a)Am I doing things right?, (b)Did I really chose the right path?, (c)Am I worthy for all of this?, and a hundred more bugs me every single night. This is the first time I feel like I made a lot of wrong turns yet, the people who I thought would say "I told you so!" surprisingly says "Just keep on trying, you'll never know.". These people are the ones whom I think i'll spend the rest of my life making them feel they are lucky to have me because I make them proud. So, imagine how terrible I felt when the results of my wrong turns came out. I was so scared of what they'll think and how disappointed they will be that I completely forgot that these people unconditionally loves me. I forgot that they are my precious gems and no matter what I did or will do in the future that may seem wrong to others, they will still be on my side. 

I'm a paranoid person, one who thinks of things way harder than it should simply be. I started being pessimistic since the first trial of real life hit me. Years passed since I got over that not-so-good phase, i'm trying bloody hard to be optimistic. Up until now actually, I don't think every single cell of me has already ridden of those pessimistic ones. Writing this while listening to my latest senti song and seeing the leaves dance carefree-ly because of the unusual wind by this hour, i'm starting to feel better. Letting all my thoughts out in here really do make me breathe normally. I hope things will go better soon, and I surely will get back to you once it did. So, i'm out now but i'm leaving you the song I so love right at this moment. Weee, thank you for reading this (if ever you read up to here)! 

Xs & Os,

B ♥